Yes, And

Taking improv classes is the best decision I've made in a long time. It is a ton of fun, moreso than I expected! It's very relaxing and not nerve-wracking too, which I think is a combination of being in a humorous environment with like-minded peers and the fact that for improv to work one sort of has to turn off his brain. You can't predict what you'll have to react to, so you just go with the flow and keep it simple and funny and entertaining, which shuts out the anxious voices in the head. I am now really excited to do a graduation performance in 2 months!

The class really calmed me down from the anger at the general double-X chromosome cuntocracy and the specific offenders of last night. Except I realized when I came home from the party, I had at some point put girl-of-recent-drama's camera in my pocket. Now I have to return that as well as her jacket that she never picked up from my apartment to her. I've been trying to find a time to make the exchange all day, and only now at 11 pm am I waiting for her to get her shit. It feels like a goddamn post-breakup ritual. Maybe her coldness is all in my head, or maybe it's not. Maybe I'll confront her about it when she arrives. If I do, I'll probably write about it tomorrow.

Long Time Coming Part 3: The Root of Misogyny

I had originally reserved this blog post for my emotional musings on dealing with being relegated to platonic friend with someone I have unrequited feelings for, an experience uncommon to me. But in the 2 days that I procrastinated writing, it's very possible that that situation has become the unlikely best case scenario.

Went to a party last night. That girl was there, and for some reason she was very cold towards me. She never came up to talk to me, and would more often than not would run as I approached her. Now I'm not going to sit here and claim that I'm not an obnoxious drunk ever, and I was jokingly trying to flip her hoodie a few times which caused the running away, which might explain that. But I realized that she never talks to me or cares if I'm around in nearly the same capacity in group situations than when we talk online or hang out one-on-one. So why the fuck should I even bother to keep the friendship strong? I'm just the victim when she needs her attention whore cravings satisfied.

And there were several other girls there who were just unsocial, unfriendly, and downright mean! One in particular would not talk to me at all when I tried to initiate conversation, and one bitch even had the nerve to tell me "I need to stop talking." What the fuck! I'd been having fun talking to her and her friend and thought they were enjoying themselves too, guess not! So I told those whores to fuck off and didn't deal with them the rest of the party.

With the exception of these bitches, I had myself a good time at the party. But I really am not surprised I have a general low opinion of women, and in fact I think my misogyny has now reached new heights.

Long Time Coming Part 2: Cometh, Nightman

I watched 9 when in the bay area the other week. What a beautiful movie with the worst characters and writing ever. Nine is the biggest Mary Sue ever, and the other characters are just stereotypes in wicker doll form. And critics were complaining about G.I. Joe having characters too 2-D?

Tonight I saw The Nightman Cometh, the It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia musical, live. Hi-fucking-larious! It was insanely crowded and sweltering in the theater but totally worth it. They showed a preview of an upcoming episode which is simply genius. Season 5 and still going strong, it's incredible.

But I had to drive into and out of Hollywood on a Friday night, which is like taking a match to the dry brush of my road rage. Learn how right of way works, mob of 50 bicyclists performing a Philadelphia left turn and blocking all traffic! I raged so hard that I sang a song about how I wanted to murder the bad drivers. How impressed I was with my ability to make lyrics up on the spot! Maybe improv classes won't be a complete disaster after all! We'll see in just 2 days.

When I arrived home, however, my ire was melted away by the sight of seeing a 3 year old kid walking his Bischon Frise down our street with his parents. He was barely bigger than the dog but they looked so cute walking together, especially when he let go of the leash and the dog continued walking nonchalantly alongside. I need a dog.

Long Time Coming Part 1: Thumbing The Mousetrap

Ok lots of shit to talk about. The last couple of weekends I've spent in northern California! First, I went up almost on a whim to see some buddies from college. Good times! It was one friend's birthday and we went out to celebrate at a sausage bar--the lack of women around at all times was probably my only complaint--and it was tons of fun. Met a buddy's girlfriend and she's damn cool. For some reason, girlfriends of friends love me. They need to teach the single girls that! And they need to have single girl friends!

But, my norcal friends, who are mostly paired off now, need to learn that brunch is not the place for single ol' me! Especially on opening Sunday of NFL. My demands for Hooters "brunch" fell on deaf ears, and only too late did I discover that the brunch place was half a block from a cool looking sports bar.

Then, a trip to Yosemite to see another friend get married! Yosemite is amazingly beautiful, shame we were there for such a short time. It's a pain in the ass to get to, however. The wedding was small, but in such a great location and time of the year. I'd never seen my friend so happy, and all her friends are great people and we all got along and had a blast!

Perhaps the crowning moment of the weekend was at the afterparty back at the lodge, where I found a mousetrap on a railing. After some failures at setting the trap, I succeeded and left it on the balcony. We relocated to another room a little ways away, but my (not sober) roommate comes in complaining that he got his thumb caught in a mousetrap! Then he tripped over a rope and spent the rest of the night bitching about the mousetrap and the "ninja bears" that tripped him! And in the morning he couldn't figure out why his finger hurt so.

Until I reminded him. And placed the mousetrap I brought back with us near his laptop. It is now one of the more dangerous items in the apartment. And the phrase "thumbing the mousetrap" gets a lot of use these days.

The Break

No, not from blogging, although it's been some time since I updated. But, with actively seeking out dating, I'm over it for now. It's time to rest, focus on me for a bit. I'm excited for the new quarter though! I just signed up for kickboxing and improv classes, we've got new students coming, and I'm working on a short story that I think can actually become something. I'll try to update here when I do things but expect the emo shit to be quite turned down.

It's All Bullshit

What the fuck. Why am I not good enough? Will no one take me up on all I have to offer? I'm 26 fucking years old and feeling 150% alone. I hate being friends with single women. I hate sitting on the sidelines as all my friends pair up. I hate unrequited affection, and I hate failed matchups. I hate relying on being set up. I hate that every time I find someone I fall for via my own efforts, my emotional psyche ends up shattered. What more can I do? How many times must I change who I am and what I look like before 1 in 3 billion will notice? When will I feel something besides hate?