Weekly Update #65.0.1

I think the reason I like those cream cheese puffs so much is because in my mind they're basically Chinese bagels.

It makes me a little sad that as my research progresses I spend less and less time online. Time was I'd be chatting on AIM, IRC, watching this video or that video, keeping up-to-date on the most bleeding edge links and lingo, etc. Now it's a coinflip whether I have any time at all to gchat during my day, and then I might make an online appearance after 11 PM if my social life isn't distracting enough. It's just another sign of growing up, and that's perhaps the saddest part of all.

A new revelation that will help keep me away from the computer is that the PS3 has implemented a trophy system similar to XBox achievements. It wasn't bad enough that I wanted to complete as many Mega Man 9 challenges as possible, but now most every game has a similar challenge system that is displayed online. But the trophies aren't retroactive, meaning that for GTA IV and Uncharted I would have to play through them again to get the story trophies. Fuck that. I'll stick with Super Stardust HD and just blow up asteroids to no end.

One thing that really "grinds my gears" is when I'm watching TV or a movie with someone and my compatriot feels the need to point out what other movies/TV shows any given actor is in. Sometimes a person will look familiar and it will bug me until I look him up, but I have friends that take it way to a fault. Goddammit I really really really am not impressed by your wanting to be a human IMDB, especially when it mostly pertains to lame-ass WB dramas I have never watched nor dedicated one iota of caring towards. (OK, yes, I watched Smallville, but when I am in charge of the history books that era of my life will be conveniently omitted. This comment is directed at One Tree Hill et al.) Why can't you just watch the show or at least let me watch the show in peace without worrying about every actor's curriculum vitae?

Don't Go Jason Waterfalls

I think the world would be a lot happier if everyone admitted that Valentine's Day is poison. For some reason I was thinking about my "big idea" for a manga/comic today, which involves a bunch of elements: Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, Lightning, Light, Shadow, Love, War, Wisdom, and some others I can't remember off the top of my head. I'd always thought that I would make the main character the lightning elemental, but it didn't sit easy because usually lightning is the power of the main character (in Konjiki no Gash, GetBackers, and Pokemon to name a few). Lightning is too damn awesome! But what if the main character were the love elemental? That'd be cool. Some guy with the power to make others fall in love but never himself, like a pitiful Cupid. This thought bears investigating further, but because I'm lazy and have no artistic skill beyond ideas-making, I'm sure it'll never get fully developed, much like an aborted fetus.

I think I've blogged about this before, but my biggest pet peeve on online dating sites is when someone puts practically no information on her profile, or at least nothing that differentiates her from other people! Okay, you love fun, family, friends, and movies. Well, if someone didn't like one of those things, she's probably an asshole! I'm not going to message you if I have no soil to plant a seed, no base case on which to apply an inductive step.

I had a big scare in the nanolab today. Some wipes fell down and knocked over the HF I was working with. Luckily I wasn't right next to it and I was in my full chemical gear, and the amount was small and spilled in an easy to clean area, but holy crap did it freak me out. Because HF eats bones. And can kill you. And you don't feel it for a while. And I'd burnt the tip of a finger the other day on the toaster oven, so I was freaking out despite knowing I didn't touch any. Stupid deadly chemicals.

Too Close

I've been a subdued mess of emotion lately. Had crush on girl, decided to man up and ask girl out, at first got a yes (ambiguous in hindsight) putting me on cloud 9, then actually got rejected while trying to set real plans. What have I come out of this experience as? Angry. And angry leads to blogging.

I'm angry that I didn't play the field. I met 3 cool and attractive girls in-between ambiguous yes and rejection that I did not pursue. Dammit, I know craps. I know it's called playing the field because the field bet wins on many numbers, not just one. But I like to play the hard ways. It's time for the betting strategy to change. (N.B. - I also like to play the numbers, but that doesn't help the metaphor I'm trying to build.)

Furthermore, I'm mad at my whole getting worked up over this girl. Because fuck it, I'm awesome and don't need to be torturing myself so. I may not have 50 stories of how I slept with married women or whatever shit regular kids my age talk about, but I'm clever, funny, entertaining, and a damn decent dancer. Not to say I don't have my bad points too, but instead of dwelling over rejection I should be bolstering my confidence on what I know are my good attributes. It's not my damn fault if some girl has whatever personal hold-ups/issues about dating me, it's hers, and it doesn't need to break my stride and/or slow me down, because dammit I'm awesome.

Venn Diagrams

I decided to try my hand at a venn diagram joke, just to see if I could do it better than xkcd or whoever else. Ok, really, I just thought of a good joke in venn diagram style and wanted to share it with my 2 loyal readers.

It might be a little NSFW so it's here.

Dead Heat

Warning, this will probably be one of my most emo posts--maybe not ever, but at least up to now. My lack of confidence has been resurfacing lately. Now, I'm proud of whom I have become in the past couple of years. Despite anxiety I am quite more social than I had been, I'm making the journey away from pushover nice guy pussy into someone with a little backbone and a bit of an asshole streak, my wardrobe isn't Comic-con free shirt dependent, and my flirting game is at least not a complete disaster. Nevertheless, there will always be someone better, and I'm finding out, in my case, there are many such people out there.

Sadly I hung out with a few of these tonight. They were nice guys, but I couldn't help but feel threatened and somewhat jealous. Not that I wasn't trying to keep pace in the flirting game, but... it was like being Piccolo next to Goku. Useful to a point and then relegated to the background. What a nerdy reference, but whatever, we all know about shoes and fitting.

The solution is simple in theory: power through these damn anxiety barriers. Stop waiting for the perfect moment, dammit, and ask her out already. Well at least tonight ended up in a stalemate, and not based on my indecision nearly as much as just on the night in general. Feels like getting a free spin. My biggest regrets were a) agreeing to DD and b) having a big lunch so I wasn't able truly to take advantage of the all-you-can-eat-and-drink steak and wine restaraunt. The Jew blood boils, but it helps my figure!