Insomnia

I cannot sleep tonight. Fuck. I've been awake for almost 2 hours now after 3 hours of not uninterrupted sleep. Something must be preying on my mind. Watching videos and catching up on comics is not helping ease it either.

Pretty sure it's related to all the wedding talk that's been going on recently, with a bachelor party fresh in my mind still, and at least 6 or 7 weddings coming up in the next year. I have this feeling of being... left behind. Unable to move forward as friends around me take the next step in their lives. No girlfriend let alone fiance; fuck, I haven't even advanced to Ph.D. candidacy yet.

And despite my efforts to improve myself--in terms of diet, fashion, exercise, work ethic, etc.--I fear my heart's might not be in it and I'm just too weak and will soon return to old, bad habits. As long as I'm aware of it I can fight it, right? My stomach feels bad.