Hey I Have A Great Idea!

How's about everyone get married?! Wouldn't that be grand!?! How many more engagements am I going to have to suffer this year? I know I should probably "be happy" for the "lucky" couples, but then my bitter core gets unleashed. When is my turn?

At least I still own at beer pong. I've won 8 of my last 9 games. The problem is now that I have to play with a designated drinker it's hard to keep a partner when I keep winning. Also, vodka is now added to the list of things that give me a rash. That leaves whiskey, rum, gin, wine, and sake left to test; I think those can wait a while, even if it's for science. It's getting more frustrating explaining this sudden allergic onset to people, even more so because I've built up such a pathological liar persona that it's believed to be simply a new lie. I'm quite proud of that when I'm not busy being frustrated.

Reese's Puffs cereal is amazing, but it reminds me of dog food. It's very dense and spherical, making it impossible for milk to ensoggify it. It's the best part, the long-lasting crunch, that porous cereals with a worse surface area:volume ratio such as Frosted Mini Wheats or Fruity Pebbles just can't deliver. Anyone out there looking for a science fair project? There you go, that one's on me.

I think one of the cool things about asian girls versus white girls (at least amongst ones I know, therefore I can make wide generalizations) is that the asian girls all seem into food a lot more than white girls. This meshes well with Jewish mentalities (minus the kosher thing; asians will eat any part of anything).

Respirator training: lamest training I've had to attend yet. Wear a mask and stick your head in a bag while we spray bitters in the air you're breathing to see if you can taste it? Pretend to be a mouth breather for a while, please. Oh, now shake your head and touch your toes while we do it. And don't forget to come back next year!