Repost-ado

Fuck, I think I developed a tequila allergy. I took a shot of Partida Anejo just now and my entire neck got red and itchy. WTF? I've been drinking his stuff all break, but when I first try it from the bottle I brought back from Duty Free, I break out? This seriously hinders all my plans to become a tequila connossuier!

I've been slacking on writing recently. It's been a shitty past few weeks, things considering, and I hadn't been bit by the writing bug. I'm basically out of things to watch and read, however, so I'll get off my ass in the next couple of days.

Online Grating

Sometimes I think I'm a flexible person who isn't terribly picky (outside of certain foods), but especially not with women. These are the times I then find myself on an online dating site repeatedly proving myself wrong. There have always been little red flags I look for, the most notable are smoker and being too religious; and although I try really hard to look past some former deal-breakers (cat-lover), I amaze myself by finding new things to nitpick.

The biggest turn-off I've noticed affecting me of late is running. Running! I don't know why it's seen such a resurgence amongst young people recently. I cannot think of a more boring activity--what do you think about besides "Shit, am I still running? How much further do I have to go?" Repeat, forgoing the rinsing altogether. Why not a more entertaining sport, like squash, volleyball, basketball, etc.? I did track for 5 years and that was only to pole vault, which at least adds danger and excitement! There's also this rapport that runners have, where they talk to each other about how far and fast they ran, and while this conversation keeps them rapt, I sit thinking "Who gives a fuck how far you ran today? I have a car!"

Also on the subject of dating, why do girls always make guys buy scarves? I hate cold weather and clothing that is made to keep one warm, but a scarf seems unnecessary for anyone living outside of Siberia. And if you're living somewhere that your neck gets cold enough to warrant scarf wearing, it's probably not in an environ suitable for humans lest they have a handy Tauntaun. Scarves strike me as itchy, a hassle, and not at all fashionable. But pissing me off even more, the men capitulate. And there are too many news/magazine articles for today's woman on how to whip her boyfriend/husband into an easily pliable form. At least fight back, guys! It's a two way street! Make more women wear sundresses in return! Well, the hot ones.

I've developed a taste for fancy gum. Advertising and packaging totally works on me when I let it.

And More Pretention

Holy related to my last post, Batman!

http://www.isitfunnytoday.com/

On Humor, Off Color

I'm sure I've ranted about this before, but it bears repeating. I have impossibly high standards declaring something interesting or funny. One might point out that some films or TV shows I consistently laud are admittedly 'bad'. But many of these movies go out of their way to be clever, often in a ridiculous manner that turns out quite amusing. And I admire clever. I can only handle making the easy joke in moderation. Making the easy joke and pointing out the obvious is the basis of the motivational poster meme, the Epic Movie series of movies, LOLCats, and more. Half the time, they're not even jokes. It's just "Oh look! There are too many people in this pool! It's not a party! LOL" or some shit. And then there's reference-based humor. Family Guy is easily the biggest offender, but XKCD relies too heavily on it as well. "Oh, he's talking about cosines; I KNOW COSINES!" It makes me want to vomit.

It's approximately 4700% easier to criticize than create. And I'm not doing too well on the creating front. I sent out a carefully crafted email earlier today of which I'm ashamed. I can barely stand to rewatch my old Lloyd Movie skits. My draft of a short comic reads like a Saturday morning cartoon. The worst part about all of those? People like them. Some of my skits were big hits. I've got good feedback from the email. XKCD, motivational posters, et al. are somehow popular.

I should be happy when my creations are appreciated. And, in truth, I feel a bit of pride and joy then. But it's quickly overshadowed by my disappointment in my own work. I know I can do better. I should be clever, and not go for easy jokes or puns. But I can't seem to do so, and I'm pulling my massive amounts of body hair out trying.

But instead of being emo, I will take my joy where I can find it: judging other people's perceptions of interesting and entertaining with the force of Thor's hammer. No one on the internet cares about your opinions! So of course that's why I write a blog.

Damn, this entry is too long, rambling, and unspecific. Just like all the others.

Hi, Ho

In watching Sydney White (a rather enjoyable Amanda Bynes vehicle that retells the story of Snow White if the titular character were a college freshman), I realized more than ever that the nerdier a character is, the more extreme his turn-around and/or the more sex he will have by the end of the movie. It's a shame real life weren't similar, else I'd have to start reading more comics instead of dropping bad titles. Also, I was almost as ashamed to realize I couldn't name all 7 dwarfs off the top of my head as I am that I'm forgetting the names of people with whom I went to college. I could recall Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Dopey, Doc, and Grumpy by the movie's end, but best I could tell from the characters the seventh had to have been Sleazy or Horny. Turns out it's Happy. I suppose it's a tad more Disney friendly than my dwarf.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is a boring movie, especially in comparison to A Fistful Of Dollars and A Few Dollars More. Too many old movies have horrible pacing. There are a bunch of good ones out there, but Logan's Run, Mad Max, Rollerball, and too many others just go on and on and on without moving the plot anywhere. At least they usually have at least one topless woman make a cameo. I wonder if there's a definite year that can be pinpointed for the majority of movies adopting the solid three act structure over the sit-around-and-do-nothing storyline. Actually, there are probably plenty snail paced movies out there today still, but my tastes have just refined to Michael Bay's explosion fests, Seann William Scott slapstick comedies, and tomboy Amanda Bynes coming of age stories.