Days Of Future Suck

I just saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and I must say I was underwhelmed. I'm not entirely sure what I wanted from the movie, but I know I expected more than the "Oh no, how will making a porno together affect their relationship?" theme that anyone seeing any advertising for the movie must surmise. Kevin Smith's characteristic crude conversations and language feels oddly mismatched with the sappiness of the central love story, but what is bugging me the most is that the movie had a lot of potential on which it failed to deliver. Any potential source of outside conflict is quickly squashed as either a one-line gag or to provide the plot with a quick path to move from A to A.5 instead of giving the characters something to overcome. Instead, the majority of the conflict is internal to Zack and Miri, which would work were the plot centered on their relationship and not presenting at least 3 other directions for the characters to grow, plot threads that were squashed or simply left dangling by the movie's end.

Sorry, Zack and Miri, you had some amusing lines and moments but I'm not rewatching you. And if I want to see Katie Morgan topless, I'll watch Pornucopia on HBO. Or one of her other movies. She was cuter before the implants anyway.

Also on my recent disappointing list is Wolverine and the X-Men. However Wolverine attained the popularity status he has today, it can't be from depictions of his character like in this show. Somehow, after Professor X and Jean Grey exploded, Wolverine becomes the leader of the X-Men. The infallible leader. He's never killed anyone, it's always a misunderstanding. He's not a loner or gruff, he just spends all his time sulking next to Professor X's comatose body, which can also talk to him from the future. And every decision he seems to make is boneheaded. He is a sad paper cutout that can do no wrong in this cartoon.

Even more sadly, he gets all the screen time. The other characters get even less development. As a result, Cyclops only talks about Jean, Rogue is whiny and way out of character (Seriously? you quit the X-Men because Wolverine goes away sometimes? Get over it! I don't care about spoilers because it's that bad.), and everyone else seems to be simply around. It can't be that hard to write a decent show where different characters get developed each episode and still fit into an overarching plot. JLA did it, Teen Titans did it, the old X-Men cartoon did it, heck, that was the whole point of JLU! I'm not saying I could write better, just that I wouldn't let my name be put on this crap. And yet, I've already watched half the season, so of course I'm going to ride it out.

Welcome Back, Kotter!

久しぶり！　　It's been a while! Mostly because I have the following priorities in my life:

- Achieving Mega Man 9 Challenges
- Catching up on DVR and TV
- Reading books
- Research
- Japanese HW
- Actually writing some other stuff
- Blog

I got 2 fortune cookies last night. Both had a "learn Chinese" phrase on the back in addition to the fortune and lottery numbers. I got "Girlfriend" and "Still Single" on mine. China needs to make up its mind about my luck with the ladies.

I don't understand why people take a whole night off to pack before going somewhere. It takes me 5 minutes tops, even with folding nice clothes. It's a task easily done in the morning, so come hang out! You don't have to sit there and plan for every possible fashion contingency.

I've watched enough Japanese music videos that I don't trust them. Recently I've gotten turned on to Maximum The Hormone, and I can't tell if the girls in it are some band members in drag. The jury's still out, and I can produce enough evidence that it is a common enough occurrence to be wary. The song is still awesome.

You loyal readers might notice the above link directs to a site called "crunchyroll". I found this site the other day, although I won't claim to be the first person upon the site so I don't demand it to be renamed after me. It appears to be like Hulu for anime and other Asian pop culture. Browsing the site makes me feel unclean, as if I were walking through an anime convention and everyone around me were cosplaying. But the site seems to have anime subtitled officially by the producing company for free, so I'm going to see what I can get out of it.

Yesterday I was helping teach some of the Japanese exchange students the phrase "nobody gives a fuck". Probably because of how they learn English, they tend to throw an indirect object in there. "Nobody gives me a fuck" has a very different meaning. :)

I have 3 Discworld books to read in 36 days. I can do it!

Percussion, Strings, Winds, Words

This always happens. I stumble across enough thoughts, inspirations, and experiences that could fill up 4 entries or more, yet by the time my fingers start itching in anticipation of a keyboard and my endocrine system has produced enough of whatever anti-ADD hormone I need to sit at a computer for more than 3 minutes without opening Solitaire, I've decided to dilute it all and compress it into one entry.

Little Britain USA is actually quite funny. Some of the skits fall flat or are too British humor-laden that I just don't get it, but this skit had me rolling on the floor. I'm glad there's one show on HBO I will watch while waiting for the new season Big Love.

Achievements and Challenges that have only in recent years been added to video games are dangerous. In the glorious 8-bit days I would have been satisfied simply to beat Mega Man 9 and be done with it until the time I felt nostalgic once more. But simply because the challenge was there, I spent my day off trying to beat it in under 1 hour using no continues. I surmounted that task in the hold-my-breath time of 59 minutes, 38 seconds (which incidentally places me in the top 400 fastest to beat it on the Playstation Network--I suppose this counts for something in life); but I only did so to get a little crown icon in some menu. Not only did I accomplish nothing else yesterday that I had planned on (possibly including honoring veterans), but a rising faction of my consciousness wants to attempt it now without losing a single life. Damn you, Mega Man 9!

In giving my friend suggestions on fun things to draw, I mentioned velociraptor astronauts. His reply? "Who are you, XKCD?" Ye gods! How has that little shitty webcomic claimed velociraptors for its own? I've liked the idea of velociraptors doing human things since they learned to open doors. Sure, ankylosaurus has always been my favorite (with pachycephalosaurus a close second, hmmm, is it weirdthat I'm into dinosaurs with bony protrusions?), but the nerve that one person can claim a dinosaur truly offends me. It's worse than how having an equals sign on your car now means you're gay and for equality; it's a noble cause but now a mathematician can't have an equals sign bumper sticker without confusion!

Speaking of XKCD, the latest comic is by far one of its worst. I'm loving how the self-proclaimed mathematician/engineer/nerd/whatever the fuck he is can't grasp the relatively simple concepts of projection of a globe onto a map, Eurocentric world view, humor, or insight. Ok, the latter 2 really aren't that simple to grasp. Suffice it to say that were that comic a comment on Slashdot, I'd mod it down to -1 rather than a (5, funny) or (5, insightful), and not just because I'm a hater.

Wow I managed to get a lot down before it left my brain. I still have one more topic to cover, but I think it merits its own post.

Kill Me Kiss Me

My roommate taking bartending classes and then studying for his test with us is never a good idea. Mainly because I hold my liquor about as well as Arkham holds any Batman villain.

One thing that really bugs me that I'm only recently realizing, it would have to be when people stick to a schedule. I don't mean organized people, oh no, I admire it--to a point. When someone's life is ruled by his routine, that's when I get pissy. Surely you could take one day off of going to the gym or tutoring or going to bed by 11 pm to hang out with friends? But I guess that's asking too much sometimes! We can't hang out unless it fits your schedule! Welcome to friendship's one-way street.

Tossing aside modesty for a moment, sometimes I really hate being "smart". I remember things easily and I can trial and error my way through problems processor-style rather quickly, but that does not mean that I can write every essay or remember chemistry or fix any computer problem my family has. I appreciate the vote of confidence but not at 9:30 in the morning, which is not the time to ask me to explain Bronsted acids! And if I were confident in my writing abilities I'd have more to show for it than this accursed blog! And I'm sick of hearing "hurry up and invent something so we can all be rich!" I'd gladly give up some of the logical part of my brain to have more success socially. In fact, that's certainly the problem. If I could learn to hold my booze this might work....

Drew Barrymore should not be allowed to act in movies simply because she was in E.T. She always plays that sweet, soft-spoken girl with that pout that doesn't enhance her look for the better.

Freaky PV (but yay for boob grabbing).

Hulk Smash

I was linked this article the other day and meant to post it here because it's apropos, but better late than never: http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/11/03/angry.internet/index.html

Also, I for one am ever so glad that the photoshopping generation has finally become old enough to vote.

Shaudenfruede

Fuck the Department of Water and Power! They planted a crane on blocks smack dab in the alley behind my apartment, effectively preventing me from getting my car out this morning. A little warning to allow me to move my car would've been nice! As a result, I took the bus this morning. Lords how I hate the bus! If I wanted to take the bus, I wouldn't pay out my ass for a parking pass. Finding the bus stop was bad enough, but being near other people who sit next to me and blather on in French (a language that is not attractive sounding to my ear; probably like how pheromones will attract girls but make men fight you) drives me crazy. And all the undergrads! I keep saying I hate undergrads even though I've made a lot of really nice friends who are undergrads, but I think now I say "undergrads" to mean "people on campus in my way" in much the same way that when I say "white people" I mean "lame people with boring interests".

I was very much cheered up by some kids almost sent flying by the heavy door that leads to my building. Ok, the girl that shoved it open was being an unaware whore, and I would've felt really bad and helped out if the kids did get smacked, but little kids also need to learn not to run at full speed without looking as well. Achieving escape velocity with the help of a glass door teaches a good lesson. Perhaps it just brings back memories of summer camp when a counselor drop kicked the door and sent a kid sailing through the adjacent glass window. The counselor got fired and the camper got stitches, and a good nervous laugh about what the hell just happened was had by all!

We Are The World

I seem to come up with my best ideas for entries when I'm quite inebriated. However, that's also when my even better idea is "go to sleep!" I'm only a little tipsy right now so let's see how I do.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's the only day with an excuse to dress up! I need to learn to choose a costume next year that doesn't end with my wearing no shirt. It's a recent habit I've developed thanks to a combination of less shame and also laziness with outfits. I hope soon to have a bigger budget in both money and time so I can act on my more grandiose costume ideas next year.

I can't wait until this fucking election is done in 24 hours. I've had enough of "you need to vote! (but only if you're voting the way I think you should)" from people; for some reason politics gives everyone an excuse to lord his opinion over everyone else for 2 goddamn years. Why can't I be allowed to choose how I feel personally on every issue and keep it to myself and not be harassed day in day out?

I suck at writing. My Japanese essay turned out to be some sort of stream of consciousness and not the structured essay it should've been. I rewrote it this morning and was a lot happier with it, but still feel like I should be delivering literary gold. Maybe I have too high standards for myself; not every essay can be profound, especially the one on "what do I find most interesting about the Japanese language?"

Lots of attractive girls in Japanese language exchange club. Going to keep going to that.